Talk to strangers

human connection | ▲▲ difficulty | ⏳ 2 weeks

Step-by-step guide

OK, let’s get started.

Step 1: Read this 

Before we start talking to strangers, it’s important to understand what we mean by talking to strangers and why it’s important. If you haven’t already, take a couple minutes to read an excerpt from the book, The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World, via The Atlantic: The Surprising Benefits of Talking to Strangers

Step 2: Lean in when it feels right 

This cozo is not about taking every single opportunity to talk to a stranger (although you’re welcome to try this), but rather, it’s about leaning in if it feels right. 

For example, have you ever had the urge to ask a stranger a question but then thought to yourself, “Nah, I don’t want to bother them” or “I don’t want them to think I’m creepy” … this is what most people think. In fact, most people believe that if they engage with a stranger, that that person will be bothered by it. But in fact, we’re inherently wrong.

[In a study by Epley and Schroeder, participants who were asked to talk with strangers during their commutes worried that the strangers wouldn’t enjoy the conversations. They predicted, on average, that less than half of the people they approached would talk with them. They expected that starting the conversation would be hard. But people were interested in talking with them, and not a single one was rejected.]

Source: The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World

So stop second guessing yourself, and just go for it. 

Step 3: Try it for 2 weeks 

Over the next two weeks, lean in when it feels right. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but as with anything, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. You’ll be surprised by what you learn about the other person, the world, and even yourself.  

Relevant links:

• How to Start a Conversation With a Stranger An article published on Very Well Mind for those who have social anxiety

• The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World In The Power of Strangers, Joe Keohane discovers the surprising benefits that come from talking to strangers, examining how even passing interactions can enhance empathy, happiness and cognitive development, ease loneliness and isolation, and root us in the world, deepening our sense of belonging. Warm, witty, erudite and profound, this deeply researched book will make you reconsider how you perceive and approach strangers, showing you how talking to strangers isn't just not a way to live, it's a way to survive.