Ask someone out in real life

 

Check out the step-by-step guide below to get started.

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human connection | ▲▲ difficulty | ⏳ 1 hour

Step-by-step guide

OK, let’s get started.

Step 1: Find out if they’re single 

Whether you’re considering someone you already know or want to ask a stranger out, before doing anything, find out if they’re single. 

If you know the person…

  • Ask a reliable source who might know if they’re single 

  • Check out their social media to see if there are any clues about their relationship status 

  • Find a subtle way to ask them the next time you see them 

If you want to ask out someone you just met, integrate it into the conversation OR take a more direct approach and just ask them. If you’re going the more subtle route, ask the person questions about themselves and look for hints throughout the conversation. 

E.g. How long have you been in the city? Were you stationary during the pandemic? Do you have any hobbies or new interests that you’ve recently picked up? 

Step 2: Think about how you want to ask them out 

Think through how you plan to ask the person out. Are you asking them out to dinner? Or to a fun activity? Be specific and avoid questions that can be misinterpreted.

Ask them specific questions, like: 

  • Would you like to get dinner with me this Friday?

  • There’s this cool, new [fill in the blank] that I’ve been dying to go to. Would you like to come with me?

  • Have you ever been to [fill in the blank]? Would you like to go with me this weekend?


Step 3: Accept their response

However they respond, it’s important to accept it. 

  • If they agree to the date, GREAT! Now it’s time to decide what to wear. Don’t forget breath mints!

  • If they are busy but suggest an alternative date, don’t get discouraged—they’re most likely interested! Work with them to lock in a different date.

  • If they are busy and can’t make it and do not offer an alternative, then it may be a sign that they’re not interested. Accept it and keep it moving. Avoid continuous asking or else that can be perceived as overly persistent (or creepy). Remember that rejection is a part of life and it happens to the best of us!

Whatever the outcome, you put yourself out there and that counts for something. If we don’t put ourselves out there, how will we ever know?

You got this.

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